I am a woman who consists of mistakes

I am a woman who consists of mistakes.
I can not cook, I can not mend,
I can not sew, I can not knit,
but one I can do wonderfully,
and every man appreciates that.
I can do it from the beginning, I can do it from behind,
I can do it slowly and also quickly,
I can do it sideways and also on my back
and quite excellently also in stooping.
Of course I can do it on
my stomach too, I know every custom in it.
I started early,
a young man taught me.
He was nice and strong
and was also violent.
In the beginning I was very anxious,
I was afraid of his pole.
I heard all angels sing
and often had to struggle with it.
But the pace was soon found
and all difficulties overcome.
Over time, the routine came,
so that I earn money with it.
As I said, maybe I will not get
it from any other woman.
I love it in the morning, that’s good,
you’re so well rested.
But I also think it’s very nice
when the sun is down.
I do it in the dark and in the light,
also storm and rain do not bother me.
When I’m in a mood,
I’ll do it naked too.
If my partner is waiting tired,
another starts for me.
It will never be too much for me,
I usually arrive at my destination.
You may not believe
it, but I’m an enemy of rubber hats.
Only for the nature I have interest,
my element, that is the wetness.
But ladies,
please do not be scared,
did you attach my confession?
I did not speak of bad things,
because what I can do is that …
… Swing …