I have a beautiful garden

I have a beautiful garden,
Fenced with laths.
The slats stop short of the ground,
so they get lazy and rot rotten.

Because I had to pick blackberries the
other day I was in my garden,
and as I happened to look through the slats
one of them ran as if he were a meschugge.

He is getting closer, I think so nau,
who comes directly to your picket fence.
Then he was at the fence, looking down and up
I stand still and think – now watch out -.

It’s still a miracle that I did not go blind,
because the guy is dropping his pants right in front of me
, then stooping slowly and deliberately
and pushing a murder thing out of the cross.

But before the blessing came from above,
I pushed my shovel under the fence.
I then confessed and the laugh
meanwhile bitten the shit on my shovel.

But when the Schippenstiel half bent,
I quickly pulled my shovel away.
It came, as I thought
the shit wants to see what he did.

He turns around, his eyes wide open,
he looks completely derailed, where is my shit?
First he looks in the grass and then in his shoe
and thinks, that’s not right.

When he saw nothing and smelled nothing,
the cold sweat broke out.
The knees, which are already very lax
he grabs the head and then the ass.

And when he smears his fingers, he
knows that a miracle has happened here.
He can not get out of the amazement and neck,
in terror he forgets to clean his ass.

He heaves up his hos and then runs away,
full of fear and horror in the weird place.
I could not pick more blackberries that day,
I could not stretch myself with laughter, not bending over.

I still laughed all day
because I did a miracle with my Schipp.
The guy I called after “Thanks to you nefarious hacker,
the Schipp full has just been missing for my field.

A few days later I was back in the garden,
because I see a shadow on my fence.
I go and get off my socks,
ei, the bastard is already squatting again.

Take care I think, I’ll tease him,
and I’m already behind the Bromheer hedge.
I run quickly to the stable, where the chickens are sitting,
to steal an egg from the nest.

Then I take my Schipp and creep on sock
back to the fence, where the hacker is squatting.
He’s looking for some paper to clean his butt,
I think, pay attention, you have to use the time.

I’ve got it fast, it’s not a lie,
with the Schipp under the butt pulled away the shit.
But I put the egg very softly and gently
to the spot where the previous one had made its pile.

It came just as I thought,
the bastard wants to see what he did.
He turns around
and opens his eyes and thinks quite dumbfounded, that’s no shit.

That’s an egg, as the chickens lay it,
he can not believe it, but he does stir.
Quickly with the egg to his wife he does run
and screams: “Ms. I need ka eggs to buy more.”

And then he explains in no uncertain terms
what the shit on the picket fence was like.
Be a woman thinks you have to prove it to me first,
a human can not shit eggs egg net.

Since the man says well and well
on the next shit you’ll see it,
but you have to wait until tomorrow,
because today I can get net again net.

The other day it was time
“woman” he cries “it’s high time,
come quickly in your hat and hold it to me
otherwise the eggs will fall down so hard.”

The woman comes running as fast as she can,
he squats on the ground and starts already.
You ass crunch, like a thunderstorm in May
but what comes out, was anything but an egg.

If the woman looks in her hat and begins to scream,
then she runs wildly around in the stub.
She kicked him in the butt and screamed in rage
“I’ve got you crapped and my hat too.”

I can only tell you, because I have to know,
on my picket fence has never shit.